The motorbike stopped a few metres away from the crash site. Nearby, two people lay there. Both had been riding on the bike. One had already passed away. The other was fighting for her life.
During the following hours, police officers and the ambulance service worked to revive the female passenger. The ambulance service airlifted the still-alive passenger to the nearest hospital specialising in neuro care. Emergency services airlifted her to Sheffield General.
Family at home were unaware of what had happened. It was a glorious spring evening. It almost felt like a summer’s night. A perfect night for a ride.
Daughter Hayley got out of the shower and checked the time. “Where could her mum possibly be?” she asked herself. It was getting late, and she would usually be home by now. It was a Thursday, and she would be up for work the following day.
There was a knock at the door. Hayley answered it, and two police officers stood at the door. The news of the accident was given.
Over the coming days, family and friends stayed in the relatives’ room of the intensive care unit at Sheffield General Hospital. The final blow came when medical staff broke the news that there was nothing more that could be done.
Medical jargon was explained, but the details passed in a blur.
The daughters of the female passenger made a difficult yet brave decision to have their mother’s organs donated.
Three women who were sitting in the relatives’ room and who were family members were expecting children. One of those women was the eldest daughter of the passenger. She was full-term and expecting her first baby boy, while her mother lay in the intensive care unit.
The final decision was made, and the life-support machine was turned off.
In the days that followed, a family was grieving the death of two people who had been close to them throughout their lives. The male passenger, who died at the scene, had been the girls’ stepfather for 20 years. They had lost both their parents.
The eldest daughter had a turbulent few years in her own personal life after the accident. She was grieving her parents and gave birth to her first son.
What followed can be described as being on autopilot or in survival mode. But after giving birth to her first son, the eldest daughter made a decision to train to be a police officer.
Wanting to help people in their time of need, her drive was to become a family liaison officer, just like the officer who supported the family after the accident and during the inquest.
With a newborn baby at home and many different things to take care of now that her parents weren’t there, she trained to be a police officer.
Meanwhile, the sister of the female passenger who died after the accident had a 10-month-old baby at home when the accident happened. She was also expecting another child.
Grieving herself and looking after a baby whilst carrying another baby, she felt lost and trapped, not knowing what to do. “How can I look after my own personal and mental health whilst looking after my babies too?”
She didn’t want to take any medication for her anxiety or low mood. Wanting to protect her baby, she didn’t want any of her grief to have any effect on her baby. Her mind was spinning.
Her doctor advised a referral to the mental health service for a review. It was a possible chance of having an assessment and getting help to process her grief. A referral was made, but the mental health service declined an assessment.
Not knowing what to do next, she left the doctor’s surgery. Standing at the front entrance, before getting into her car, she made the ultimate and final decision that she was going to do everything possible to take care of her mental health and her babies’ needs.
Over the following weeks and months, she would walk for hours around the local parks and found some solace in being with nature.
The day came when she picked up the phone and contacted a local hypnotherapist, in search of someone who might help her to feel more at ease, less irritable, less angry and more relaxed.
She found a hypnotherapist named Paula.
The first session was daunting. Going over all the details of why she’d come to hypnotherapy and not knowing what to expect left her feeling like she’d stepped into the unknown.
After a number of sessions, she soon learnt why she was feeling the way she was. Paula explained to her what her brain and body do during times of stress and how to overcome it. She was also given a series of hypnosis tracks to listen to in her own time at home.
Seven years later, she trained as a solution-focused hypnotherapist herself.
That person is me.
My niece trained as a police officer after enduring the loss of her mum and stepfather, all while becoming a new mum. I trained as a solution-focused hypnotherapist after experiencing hypnotherapy for myself, following the loss of my sister and becoming a mum again.
It is possible to heal or to move forward after such a tragic loss.
It’s important to feel safe wherever you are and whatever you decide to do during the process of grieving and healing.
After training as a hypnotherapist, I understand why I felt the way I did. Knowing how the body and mind protect themselves, and how pain and trauma affect us, has helped me to heal further.
My new website is now online, and I will soon be adding articles to my Blog page – you can sign up to my Blog on this page using the subscription facility on this page to receive my Blog articles directly by email. Stay tuned!